Remember Me as a Time of Day

Josef Updates, Mindless blather

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Well, it has been quite some time since updating this portion of the site. Frankly, I’ve run out of steam since the previous posts to keep up with this. Maybe it is just the time of year, or maybe it is the current state of my social relationships, but man, this has been a rough row of it as of late. I am happy that I’m finally able to part of some fun projects because of like minded individuals that are open to many things rather than only dealing with the local picky client who doesn’t feel like they should pay a lot but still would like everything and the kitchen sink. It has been refreshing as I’ve honestly thought about giving up on my trade many, many times in the past two to three years.

I’ve made an effort to force myself to keep doing illustrations even if my brain and heart aren’t into it. It helps some times, but other times it just adds to the second guessing of myself. Maybe it’s a midlife or three quarters life crisis, but I find myself in territory that I’ve never been in. As some of you might now if you’ve spent anytime with me or have stumbled through this portion of the site, seven years ago I lost both of my parents in a very short amount of time. Since this time I’ve been pushed to the brink numerous times and have returned numerous times. I’ve cried more in these past seven years than I ever have before and continue to find myself in sad scenarios. I’m coming up on two years since I went to an actual doctor to discover that I was pretty close to a diabetic coma and have been dealing with the fall out ever since. I now walk with a cane and find myself being more of an elderly person than the little blue haired ladies who pass me with their shopping carts at the store. When my parents were around I spoke with them via telephone on a very regular basis, specifically with my mother. Yes, that is correct I was a mama’s boy and pretty proud of it. We could drag each other out of most of the holes we found ourselves in, that was until towards the end where my mom became so sick and communication was very hard. Since losing her, I found myself losing it in front of various friends and relatives and this only confirmed that there will never ever be another person whom I connect with like I did with my mother. My poor wife has to try to shoulder a lot of my grief and natural depressive tendencies, but I don’t expect her to deal with it as she has her own fish to fry.

Well this has been a great blog entry, right? I guess why I’m typing up my thinks for the evening is that I just can’t seem to shake this clenched gut wrenched feeling that I’ve had since two winters ago. I’m hopeful that the amount of illustrative work will finally pick me up, but with the dreaded holiday season, I can really only see venomous situations playing out and the gut wrench only getting tighter. I know that I’ll never grasp the stereotypical “men don’t cry” attitude, but I just hope I can make it through the next month or two without losing it. On that note, Happy Holidays and until the next time, COURAGE.

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Let’s Face it Pal, You Didn’t need that Eye Surgery.

Josef Approved Goodness, Josef Updates, Mindless blather

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It’s been a year and a half since I have officially started treatment on nerve damage as well as blood sugar levels, I’ve gone from being scrawny to now carrying much too weight, so I guess that I’m sort of where I was before being diagnosed with said conditions. I’m ok with it most days, but there are times where I’d like to throw in the towel on a lot of the aspects of life, i.e. freelance, family and my hope of the movie RAD being released on Blu-Ray.

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i’ve got a headache like a pillow

Josef Updates, Mindless blather

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Well fellow Deletes, it has been a long time. So here you go, an update…We’re set to hang in our current town for awhile now, so that is good. Which means that I can go back to focusing on freelance, the continuing struggle of keeping just one foot in the grave and dealing with 3rd grade politics in many facets of my life.

I’m planning on continuing the trials and tribulations of the slow churning of death and the faceless business man as the main subject matter of all of my personal art. Keep an eye out for that. Also, remember DEAD BILLY. That is all for now, until next time, COURAGE.

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The Raging Rath of the Easter Bunny (as such).

Josef Approved Goodness, Josef Updates, Mindless blather

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Beendeleted here with another installment of the Deleted blog collection of blog segments. It has been awhile, sort of. Things here are still up in the air a bit, but we’ve decided to go forward as planned with the normal everyday happenings and try not to over shoot our thoughts future happenings. The weather has warmed a bit, but am hoping that we get a few more solid storms that give us some good moisture as I fear that it might be crispier this year as well as earlier. I spent a good portion of the day yesterday clearing dead stuff from the yard and placing the NHL gnome collection acquired this winter. Things are looking up.

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I want to be dead with my friends.

Josef Approved Goodness, Josef Updates

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Well, Deleted blog readers it is true, I’ve arrived for yet another session of me hitting keys in such a way I can communicate my blather via the web. Exciting? No? Ok, no, not really. Last week was a bear to say the least. Our long term plans here at Deleted Inc. seem to still be up in the air. I’m confident that all shall come out in the wash and by the fall we’ll have a better grasp of what sort of landscape will be underneath us.

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No Dog in the Race.

Josef Updates, Mindless blather

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Well, I guess that it has been a stretch since the last entry. I’m sure you were about to dial up a wellness check to see if I was OK. Wait, what? You weren’t? Well, that’s OK I guess. Things here are up in the air to say the least right now.

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2005

Josef Approved Goodness, Mindless blather

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“No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun – for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax – This won’t hurt.”

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before the worms even find me, the crowd is given more hope.

Josef Updates, Mindless blather

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Well I’ve been slacking a bit on updates to this bad boy. My apologies. Things have been going at a fairly decent clip. My freelance has picked up to the point that I’m currently at full plate level, but even at that I can always use more stuff. We shall see how this pans out.

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